Start Seeing Diversity: My Poem

Uncomfortable journey
through bias and prejudice
Facing inner pain and hurt
Caused  by US and others

Delving deep into our feelings
of people, culture, and religions far and near
opening our hearts and mind
in order to elicit change

Powerful journey
with our colleagues, now friends
uncovering our true selves
without fear or shame

Others are on this journey
through education courses we go
So we can impact future generations
and those near us as well

The journey has uncovered bias
we didn't know was there
but from one level to another
continuing we must go. 

Start Seeing Diversity: We Don't Say Those Words

This week we are required to write about a time when you witnessed an adult or yourself reprimand or silence a child after he or she pointed out someone they saw as different.  

I remember when I was a child I lived in an apartment building.  There were 20 families in our building alone and there were 3 other buildings on our  block.  I remember clearly one fourth of July where everyone was outside lighting fireworks and sitting outside.  I saw a neighbor from an adjoining building outside which we rarely saw.  She was an extremely obese women and when she sat her legs would double over.  I was shocked and kept staring at her.  My mother noticed my reaction and pulled and pinched my ear.  She gave me the "look" and I knew I better stop.    Later my mother told me that we don't stare at people.  My mom told me she is like that because she is sick so don't stare.

I think the message I got is that 1) It is rude to stare.  2) Sometimes there is a reason for people to have something wrong with them.  3) We don't do things to hurt others.   

I think an anti-bias educator would have various examples of not only people but different sized people in the classroom.  I think an anti-bias educator would have valuable literature that shows all sorts of people.  I think an anti-bias educator would make it a cornerstone of their philosophy of teaching that all sorts of people either by race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, and size should be respected.  Obesity is a growing epidemic and through the media and children's literature they are viewed negatively.  This can change through the sensitive teaching of an anti-bias educator.  

Gender Identity and Sexual Orientation

I have heard homophobic terms used as an insult by a child toward another child.  When I taught second grade there was a young boy that I believe had homophobic tendencies.  He was very feminine and would write about boys that he thought was cute.  He would write in his journal certain things and there were certain incidences that occurred.  One day while in the schoolyard, he had chased a boy around in order to kiss him.  The other young  boy, who was also in my class was horrified, embarrassed, and afraid.  He didn't want student A to keep bothering him.  Student B knew Student A liked him but he didn't like him back.  Student B was afraid that he would be teased about the kiss.  This was SECOND  grade.  I stressed to the class that we respect people's personal space and we are not to touch anyone. Also, I met with Student A's father and told him what had occurred and about the other boy feeling uncomfortable because his son was "bothering" him.  This was a single dad going through a terrible divorce and was at a loss.  I also brought it to administration's attention because I didn't want an incident to occur in the bathrooms while at lunch or if I was absent.  The class did tease Student A and called him a "fag".  I talked about words that hurt and that we treat everyone with respect.  That behavior would not be tolerated at all.  I dealt with urban kids who were very street smart and I talked to them about the consequences of their behavior.  I also touched upon gender issues with that class.  I love to teach using William's Doll by Charlotte Zolotow.

I have to admit that this topic about homophobia and dealing with it in the classroom with very young children makes me very uncomfortable.  I have a 2 1/2 year old who attends nursery school.  I have to admit I don't want  her exposed to these things so young.  I don't think how people choose to have sex should be anyone's business.  I would feel very uncomfortable not knowing how the classroom teacher would approach this topic.  I wouldn't want my daughter exposed to these things so early.  Does that make me a homophobe?  I don't think so.  Maybe I am wrong.

Farewell and Good Luck

To all my colleagues,
As we near the end of our communication course I just wanted to thank everyone for their support, and ideas.  I have enjoyed reading your blogs and getting to know some of you personally.  We have had vivid discussions, shared frustrations, and we've shared our journeys together. It has been a pleasure for me to get to know you and wish you nothing but the best on your wonderful journeys.  Good luck.

johanaviles1@yahoo.com

Team Building and Collaboration

Sometimes dealing with groups is very difficult and other times it is a pure delight.  Friendships are built and professional relationships established.  Some of these aspects make it hard to say good-bye.  I think the hardest teams to leave are the ones with clearly established norms.  I think when you establish a routine with a group of people and you work together towards a common goal it is difficult to adjourn. Some of the closing rituals I have participated in were certificate or celebration ceremonies.  Some closing rituals have been dinner out.  I have no idea how we will adjourn from the colleagues I have worked with in this program.  I guess a lot of well-wishing will take place.  It would be cool if a group skype could be done. 

Nonviolent Communication and Conflict Management

I'm sure that the conflict I will present will be shared by many.  As a stay at home mom, my husband and I are at odds about household chores.  For example, he believes that if I am the person at home, then all household duties fall to me.  I believe that if we live in the same household, then household duties should be shared.  It becomes frustrating, when he will not even load the dishwasher.

I am trying to take everything i am learning and trying to apply it.  It is easier said than done especially when I think I am right and he is wrong.   First, I learned I need to compromise more.  Maybe I need to negotiate with my husband certain duties.  Maybe we just need to be better connected so we can give and receive mutually.

Any advice on how to effectively communicate my desire for equitable distribution of chores?

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Communication

For your blog this week, think about the similarities and differences between how you evaluated yourself as a communicator and how others evaluated you. What is the one thing that surprised you the most? Why? What other insights about communication did you gain this week? Choose at least two to share with others through your blog and consider how each might inform your professional work and personal life.


Well, I found these tests very interesting and the results for some aspects shocking.  My husband and best friend  found that I was a better communicator than I thought I was.  My best friend thought I was a better listener than I thought I was.    I found that interesting.  I don't know if it had to do with gender, or age, (my hubby is younger than I), or the fact that my friend has known me longer.  I was shocked at some of the questions on the exam because I would never think to offend someone because they didn't agree with my way of doing things or my opinion.  

Some things I learned are that others perceive us differently for many reasons. It is our job to try to give the perception we desire.